Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Eternal Fame of My First Online Handle

According to Amanda Hess, the first handles we use online are always embarrassing. Even a professional blogger like Jason Kottke backs her up, admitting to "derbis" (an unintentional misspelling of debris) and "damp trousers". Pretty bad.

But there is no such confession today from Chivers. My first online handle, which I still use to play the occasional chess game, was and indeed still is, even if I say so myself, completely brilliant. It's:-

Ihaveagirlfriend

That's right! If only you'd thought of it first.

But I didn't stop there with outstandingly witty and inventive online handles. I followed up with the following work of Joycean linguistic genius:

Jurchessic Park

- a subtle yet magnificent play on my two great childhood passions, chess and dinosaurs.

And now finally, for the occasional game of 1+0 bullet, my handle issues a clear civilizing messages to the barbarian hordes of the internet chess world:

RealMenResign

That's right, they do. And I do particularly often.

But which is best? I think we need a poll to decide. Look left and cast your vote.

9 comments:

Niall said...

ihaveagirlfriend is definitely the best of the three. If you want to make people explode with jealousy, tell them she plays chess as well!
Does she, by the way?

Tom Chivers said...

I really should change it to Ihaveawife, and no she doesn't!

Jonathan B said...

I fear Mrs Chiv is lost to our noble game.

Anonymous said...

Real men may resign at 1 minute, but they will doubtless have low ratings as a consequence.

PG

Tom Chivers said...

No vote for cuppablanca PG?

Anonymous said...

Why Cuppablanca?

PG

Niall said...

Quite fond of my own handle : Smackmybishop

Tom Chivers said...

I thought I remembered you calling cuppablanca a handle of genius, but maybe I'm wrong...

Niall, my wife prefers your handle to all of mine.

Anonymous said...

I don't remember saying that Tom. But how about Kirkkabaine - so bad it's genius - almost!

PG